How do I explain the inexplicable urge to die,
How do I speak about the unspeakable,
Do I tell people that my brain is void of emotion,
Or explain that my heart has begun to numb,
Do I say my bones shatter and quake from societal pressures,
Or do I tell them that nothing compares to the pressure I put on myself,
Better yet do I say nothing,
Is it better to suffer in silence,
than to admit I feel like I'm dying when I have barely lived,
That the war I'm fighting is with myself,
and yet I am losing,
That I tell myself to stop talking but the silence is deafening,
I am a strong swimmer my parents called me a mermaid,
how is it I am drowning,
How do I tell someone that I am scared to live,
When I am terrified of death,
How can I be scared of death,
when I have an inexplicable urge to die.